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2006 Tennis-X Blogging Contest

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Postby lynnlovestennis on Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:03 am

tds2711 wrote:maybe he does because lynnlovestennis missed the first couple of weeks. so x-bot, is she in the competition? who is still in?



Ooh oooh! Good question!!

Oh wise and powerful X-Bot, am I in or am I out?

I realize that I missed a couple of weeks, but I don't think that's reason enough to chuck me....


But either way, I hope people enjoy reading my posts. :)
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Postby tds2711 on Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:17 pm

here's what the rules said "If you are interested, to enter post at least one blog entry on this thread, once a week, from this week through the end of the French Open. "

that was on march 20th
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Postby XBot on Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:59 pm

Answer to all questions: It will all sort itself out in the end.
Keep plugging away.
For those of you reading the bloggers, your critiques are encouraged.
For those of you blogging, don't get stuck in a box.
Don't get stuck, and don't suck.
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Postby mariam on Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:36 pm

holy vince spadea. not only is it alive, it's rapping now...
Q: If you had your own cologne, what would it be called?
Tursunov: That would depend on the smell. For a strong and woodsy fragrance, The Communist. For a light and lemony fragrance, The Traitor.
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Postby jamumafa1 on Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:43 pm

(Can't think of a witty title, but it's like the Sharapova one posted before)

Once upon a time, In WTAland, Richard Williams was talking to his daughter, Serena. Now, inbetween being a nutbar, Richard likes to give advice. He told Serena that she couldn't do everything at once, and that she had to focus on one thing, otherwise her ego would blow up to the size of the Goodyear blimp. Serena frowned, thinking this was unfair. However the extra stress on her legs, caused by the extra rolls on her forhead, made them give way, meaning she had to not play the upcoming tournaments.

Meanwhile, in the Australian Open Semis' Cinderpova found herself amongst the three ugly sisters. In the middle of the night, a fairy visited Cinderpova in the night, and told her that if she threw her match against Henin, she would grant her a walkover, in a semi-final of an up-coming Tier 1 tournament. Cinderpova agreed, after seeing her records against the three ugly sisters in the past, she wouldn't have won anyway....

Meanwhile in the other Australian Open Semi, Clijsters' wrist porblem forced her to retire against Mauresmo, who had thus far, not choked up.

In the final, Mauresmo kept her dinner in her stomach for the duration of the very short match. However, Henin felt her tummy rumble a bit, so she retired. Mauresmo responded by saying "I was ready to kill you out here tonight"....or something to that effect......[/




In ATPland, however, there was a bit of a suprise package. Kiefer the Jester had been doing tricks on court all week, such as making his shorts shed water, and his spectacular racket throwing trick. This was not enough, however, to de-throne King Federer.

Another suprise package was Pirate Pete, with his adidas headband and earring, he had knocked off RodSchlong in a previous round. He found himself up against an in-form Moby Dick. Moby had been criticised before the Masters Cup, about his weight. However, after he won it, he decided to join Dent and Serena in a daily trip to Dairy Queen in the off season. This seemed to affect Moby, as the super size Big Mac Meals with Coke, seemed to weigh him down, and he lost in 5 sets.

Pirate Pete took it to the King in the first set, winning it 7-5. The King visibly stepped up his game, stopped thinking about Pimp My Ride and started to play better. Pirate Pete's mutiny was put aside this time. The King shed tears of joy, but his happiness was shortlived, as he saw Juliette the cow in the players box. No...wait...that isn't a cow.....
"Frank Shields was always half-way to being smashed. Luckily for him, he was so good looking, no body cared" Quote John Haylett
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Postby jamumafa1 on Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:49 pm

^^^^^

Sorry it's a bit lame. Did it to take the piss really..... funny if it won though. I'm still in the contest, you never know.

BeerMe, i chucked in the Goodyear blimp for ya
"Frank Shields was always half-way to being smashed. Luckily for him, he was so good looking, no body cared" Quote John Haylett
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Postby Fate_looking_away on Mon Apr 17, 2006 6:58 pm

mariam wrote:holy vince spadea. not only is it alive, it's rapping now...

thanks for the laugh of the day there.
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Postby mariam on Mon Apr 17, 2006 7:21 pm

I try.
Q: If you had your own cologne, what would it be called?
Tursunov: That would depend on the smell. For a strong and woodsy fragrance, The Communist. For a light and lemony fragrance, The Traitor.
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Submission #6

Postby CraigP on Tue Apr 18, 2006 12:55 pm

[b]Shaking the “Milkshake for Brainsâ€
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Postby BeerMe on Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:37 am

all the good blogs (oxymoron? or just moron?) and or columns i read dont have "I" in every sentence. that would be my tip.

yea less suckin' and more funkin'.
"Leela: Your face can take a lot of punishment. That’s good to know.
Fry: There’s a lot about my face you don’t know."
-- Futurama
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Daniel Stern Submission # 7: Finding Your Love Match

Postby DStern127 on Wed Apr 19, 2006 12:44 pm

Finding Your Love Match

Love means nothing in tennis. Yea, so we’ve heard time and time again. But what about Chrissy and Jimmy, and Chris and John, and Lleyton and Kim (are we seeing a bad trend yet)? Surely, love is in the air, or maybe it’s in the players’ lounge at the Slams and combined events. We know how those mixed doubles teams really are formed at Wimbledon – spin the Robinson’s bottle during rain delays (who drinks that stuff anyway?).

Maybe it’s time, however, for the Joe Schmos of the tennis world (you and I) to start finding true love in the game we, well, love. We’ll call it (to borrow from one of the greatest songs of all time from one of the greatest bands of all time Air Supply) “Making Love Out of Nothing At Allâ€
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Postby DStern127 on Wed Apr 19, 2006 2:05 pm

okay that smiley face didnt show up on the preview

it should say (anyone over 18)
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Postby DStern127 on Wed Apr 19, 2006 2:06 pm

okay so i guess the number 8 and a closed paren make a smiley face -- who knew?

8)
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Postby Kevin on Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:46 pm

Dream final is a bust

Tennis promoters and fans around the world are disappointed – nay, shocked - that the Monte Carlo final will not feature the heavy favorites Gaudio and Gonzalez as was anticipated. Gaudio/Gonzo – has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?

Instead, some jokers by the names of Federer and Nadal have made it through. Federer hails from Switzerland, a country famous only for watches, chocolate, and notoriously high taxes. Nadal comes from Spain. Whoever heard of a Spaniard that has game on clay? It’s absurd!

If that isn’t ridiculous enough, the only reason these pretenders had a chance at the final was the well-known conspiracy of the Argentine and Spanish tennis federations to buy off the real clay court powerhouses – the Americans – from showing up in Monte Carlo in the first place!

The Argentines gifted Roddick with a yacht to go cruising this week instead of showing up to school the field in Monte Carlo. The other great American clay court maestro, Fish, was bought-off by the Spaniards when they pulled some strings that allowed for him to gain direct entry into a Challenger, instead. How could one reasonably expect Fish to resist such temptation?

More evidence of such shenanigans to avoid the threat of American clay court prowess was observed in Houston a week prior, when all Spaniards and Argentines not so inconspicuously avoided challenging the big, bad Yankees in Hometown, USA.

Enjoy Federer against whatever his name is in the Monte Carlo final tomorrow. Doesn’t matter the outcome. It will all be irrelevant anyway once Team America comes to town. F*** yeah!
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Shame on us

Postby pnace on Sat Apr 22, 2006 9:10 pm

Ok, so we’re heading into another French Open, when American players do so poorly I wonder why they don’t just take that long vacation they’re always complaining they don’t get. They moan and groan about losing on clay, but it’s not like they put any real effort into improving their traditionally dismal performance, and I don’t see the USTA putting any real effort into training young players to play on clay. How long will this ridiculous attitude continue? What’s preventing them from building some red clay courts to train on? That’s arrogance for you – pretending that tennis is only played on hard courts. I am sick and tired of this. I keep wondering when the tennis powers-that-be in this country will get off their behinds and do what European clay courters have done successfully – make a wise long term investment and learn how to play on a foreign surface.
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